How mediation can help

When you refer yourself for mediation, or you have been referred with your consent by someone else, we will open a case file for your dispute and then allocate 2 mediators to the case.

Click here for examples of cases we have helped in

The structure of the mediation process given below applies to all the different areas of mediation we are involved in but refers to neighbour dispute mediation as this is the main area we are involved in.

The Visit

One of the mediators will make contact with you to arrange a time and date to visit you, usually in your home, but if for any reason you would prefer the visit to be held elsewhere this can also be arranged.

The mediators will visit you in order to do 3 things:

1.      To hear your view of the situation that is causing you difficulty

2.      To explain to you what mediation is and what a face-to-face meeting would involve so that if you want this it may be one of the options you choose to try to resolve the dispute.

3.      To help you generate other options, that is to say, other ways that you might be able to resolve the dispute, or that might help you to deal with the difficulties in a different way that causes less distress for you.

The mediators are there to help you create new ways of responding to the dispute. They are not advocates for you or your neighbour and remain impartial throughout the process.

The mediators are not there to 'investigate' the situation to find out who is 'right' and who is 'wrong'. They are there to help you, and possibly your neighbour if they also wish to have mediation, to resolve the dispute in a way that works for everyone.

Mediation is about creating a way forward for the future, and not about attributing blame for what has gone on in the past. Many disputes fester because those involved devote a lot of time and energy to proving that the other person was 'in the wrong' rather than devoting that energy towards improving things for the future.

Mediation is about creating a way that works in the future and enables past difficulties to be left in the past.

The Face to Face meeting:

If you and your neighbour wish to have a meeting to try to resolve the difficulties you are having we will arrange this.

The Face to Face meeting will :

• Be held at a neutral venue such as a church hall or community centre or school, that is as close to where you live as we can find.
• Last around 2-3 hours to ensure there is a thorough opportunity to discuss the difficulties that are causing concern for everyone and to seek a way forward.
• Have ground rules to promote a constructive approach to the discussion, these are:
  • That people do not interrupt one another
  • That people do not use abusive or offensive language or behaviour
  • The mediators will end a meeting if one or more parties continues to ignore these ground rules as it would suggest they are not there with an intention of trying to resolve the situation. We can only assist where there is an intention to try to resolve.
• The structure of the meeting will be as follows:
  • Introductions and agreement to ground rules
  • Uninterrupted time where both/all parties are given an opportunity to say what their concerns are and what they would like to happen in the meeting and in the future to improve the situation
  • Clarification of the things both/all parties wish to discuss
  • Main discussion where the aim is to improve understanding of each other's viewpoint and to find a resolution of the difficulties. This may take either or both of the following forms:
    • An agreement, either written or verbal, about the ways things can be done differently in the future
    • An improved level of communication, empathy, rapport etc. between those involved

It is often believed that mediation has to end in some form of agreement and that this is the only sign of 'success', however, people will often not want this as they simply want to feel more at ease with the people they are in dispute with. In these situations they may simply create new ways of communicating with each other or may just find out things about each other that remove the fears they previously had. Disputes are often characterised by misconceptions about people or their actions, simply because they have not communicated with each other.